The Playdate Diaries

Trying to stay sane in my 2-kid world…

Playdate #7:The Character Meet-n-Greet October 20, 2007

Filed under: today's playdate — L.Gonzalez @ 4:32 pm
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Today we had a mall event where the children got to meet-n-greet with Curious George. The kids all had to be part of the ‘Kidgits Club’ in order to participate. The information sheet states ’20 minutes per child for photos’ blah blah blah… something along those lines. So why is it that when you actually arrive it’s a whole ‘nother story?

I pull into the mall – park the car… the world is peachy keen. Victor gets loaded up into his car seat, I take out a billion items from his diaper bag and place them in the stroller’s basket for easier access, and into the mall we go.

As soon as I walk in, I get a call from one of the other playdate mommies. Seems like there’s a new member there and it’s her first playdate. Since my friend on the phone is running late she asks me to give her a quick call to let her know she’s not alone – basically, that the group hasn’t ditched her. I’m thinking, AWESOME! Another mom. So I give her a call and we meetup by the Kidgits club registration desk. She’s laid-back and all smiles – phew!

More and more playgroup mommies start showing up with their kids and you know, the world is still peachy keen. I swear I checked my son’s stroller a BILLION times to make sure I had taken him out of the car. He was too quiet! Unusually quiet… creepy quiet. Evil plan-plotting quiet…

After having to run to Starbucks, debate with the cashier why I think she should break my $20 without me having to make a purchase, and then turning my back to her coldly and saying “Whatever – I’m not buying anything. This is ridiculous”, I finally find someone who can break my $20 so I can pay the freaking $5 yearly club membership fee. Thank you whoever broke my $20 – I owe you one!

Still chatting away, I unsuspectingly move my conversation to the wait-line. Of course, that was cue for Curious George to need a break. He’d been there for 30 minutes and already needed a 20 minute break. Where’s the elevator music while we stand here like idiots? 

 20 minutes later, our star reappears. I’m chatting away, forgetting my own child is with me because he’s still unusually tranquil. It was hilarious when one of the playdate mommies asked me if I wanted her to turn my child’s stroller so he could be in the picture I was about to take. Oh, what, you mean my child is here? Oh silly me… and I thought I had left him in the car.

I’m outside the play area like the paparazzi, trying to get Curious George to look at me so I can take the ‘perfect’ shot. Of course, as soon as I’m about to take the photo, he always turns the other way. I have a great shot of his left butt cheek, right butt cheek, back, arm… let’s get together sometime and I’ll show you.

Finally it’s our turn. I didn’t want to be in the shot but I had no other choice. Putting Victor down would of been like tempting fate. He would of gone from 0-60 in a few seconds and been all over the play area. That was a tantrum I wanted to avoid thank-you-very-much.

Ok Victor, say bye to George… “Bye bye bye”…

30 seconds later a wild fight broke out. I was in awe, I could harldy believe it was happening. What in the world… why do they allow such things to happen in a mall. I mean, what kind of a world are we living in when a mother can’t even take her child to get a cute little photo with a fake monkey? There was screaming, kicking, a shoe went flying… it’s just a shame that all of it happened to be between my son and myself. Yep, that’s right. It was my ‘angel’ of a child throwing the world’s biggest, most embarassing tantrum.

I’m sure the other mommies loved having their husband’s there. They all got a 2-for-1 special meet-n-greet… one with Curious George and the second with my big breasts almost popping out of my shirt. Hey, if George got $1 per each photo with him, how much do you think I can get for a photo of your husband next to my huge, shirt-popping boobs? I mean, I think $5 minimum per husband is cheap, don’t you? I’ll even pay for your marriage counseling session afterwards. What a steal!

Needless to say, before killing my child in front of the public view, I quickly escorted (aka. clubbed and dragged) him away from the play area into the nearest store. Thank God for the cover of clothes racks.

I’m carrying my 38lb toddler in one arm, pushing a stroller with the other arm, and of course, as soon as we actually reach an area of the store where there are other people present, my son decides it will be fun to test my patience by slapping me in the face. How far do you think a 38lb toddler can go flying? Hm… Of course, before I even say anything to him, the mall-starers are already looking at me like I’m the world’s worst mother. How dare I let my child cry like that… tsk tsk.

I reach the restroom and I’m relieved. Phew. No witnesses. Let me just say that I’ve never seen a restroom clear out that fast. I swear those women piled out of there faster than if “Smelly Betty” had the runs and the toilet had clogged up and started overflowing with crap. No pun intended.

I left the mall as quickly as humanly possible, loaded up Victor and all his stuff, and sped away like I’d stolen something. Wait, did I load Victor?

The boy did not make even ONE sound all the way home. Not one. No crying, no sudden movements, nothing. How lovely. My little demon all of a sudden becomes Mr. Doesn’t-Hurt-a-Fly-Perfect-Little-Angel.

I feel like I’m Lois Griffin, mother to Stewie from ‘Family Guy’. Damn you, vile woman, you’ve impeded my work since the day I escaped your wretched womb!

george.jpg  stewiegriffin-familyguy.jpg  curiousgeorgepolaroid.jpg

 

Playdate #3: The Puppet Show September 26, 2007

Filed under: today's playdate — L.Gonzalez @ 10:47 am
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This happened yesterday. It was officially our 2nd playdate but who’s counting right? (Did I mention I wrote in the wrong date on my calendar and showed up the day before that too? You can imagine my surprise when the girl at the counter had NO clue why I was there…)

I took the husband with me. And thank God I did! The venue was awesome. The price was really good too. We even got a discounted group rate. WOO HOO! The only gripe I had was that my toddler wanted to leave because he had seen ‘car’ toys on his way into the theater. How annoying. I don’t like to take them both with me to the mall by myself. Obviously because I’d end up like I have in the past – chasing down a toddler with a 15.5lbs baby flailing in my arms and my shirt riding up to show the world my beautiful fat. No thank you.

We got to see the Wizard of Oz. The kids were too cute, dancing around to the music and clapping along. Some got scared of the ugly, evil witch and I “awwwww’d” to that fact. The best part of these playdates of course is the fast-food. Ha ha ha… no seriously, it is. I get to excuse myself from any diet for the sake of my kids being able to eat after some serious playing. One of the perks of playdates I guess.

entrance.jpg  pre-show.jpg  1dorothysfamily.jpg  4notinkansasanymore.jpg  5yellowbrickroad.jpg

 

Playdate #1: The Mall

Filed under: today's playdate — L.Gonzalez @ 9:33 am
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This was actually over two months ago or so – silly me.

Yes, well… I love being able to get to places on time. At least only 15 minutes late – TOPS.

Let me just point out here that I HATE depending on others to get to places. Needless to say, I was given a little lee-way from my playgroup in regards to making my first appearance because I had just pushed out a 10lb. 8oz. baby with no medications whatsoever. So I get up 2 hours early to get the kids and myself ready… only to get there an hour late – you know, when the playdate itself is actually over.

What a great first impression.

Oh, what? The playdate? Yea, it was a mall play area thing we all did. Operative words being “we all did”. I ended up purchasing some toys for my son and then eating in the food court with a fellow playdate mommy – and friend. *sigh* oh well, maybe next time…