The Playdate Diaries

Trying to stay sane in my 2-kid world…

Ok, don’t hate me because I have a LIFE… November 20, 2007

Well, well, well… look at what the cat dragged in! Oh, and you too? Anyway, I know I’ve been M.I.A. – can you blame me? Seriously…

Well, I’ve been a bad, bad girl. I’ve been to about 2 playdates without posting anything afterwards. Shame on me… I did visit this site afterwards. I was just too lazy to click the “post now” button.

To do a quick recap of the playdates, I went to two different parks in the same week. I had an awesome experience at the first one, even though there was sand all over the place. If someone wants to play a sweet, sadistic joke on the “fat mom”, that would be it. Trudging through sand after your hyper toddler is just wrong. You can just imagine me ‘running’ through it. Well, I didn’t actually run – to anywhere – but still. The thought alone makes me want to grab another donut. Not to mention the great fun I experienced when I had to bang my sons shoes against the pavement to get all the dirt out. YAY!!!

The second park was also a lot of fun – for the three seconds we were actually there. See, that’s the funny thing about maps and directions. You spend about 30 minutes looking up the location, you click on the conveniently-placed “map to this direction” button, you spend another 15 minutes ogling over the screen… *click* – *click* – *click*…. PERFECT! You print the colored map with its turn-by-turn directions and hit the road like a pro.

Then you get lost.

Where the hell are you? WHY isn’t that little off-road on your map? In fact, where is the main road on your map? SO, needless to say, I got lost. Then I call my husband. What a lapse of judgement on my part. One would figure that a man who spends his workdays on the road would know how to read a map and instruct me on where to go – especially since I backtracked and waited, ever so patient with a 2 year old in the backseat. But no. I had to call a friend from the playgroup who had more knowledgeable sense (aka. NO technical software whatsoever) than my husband with the $1,200 laptop sitting in front of his face and a Google map. Oh yea, I had a BLAST going in the opposite direction everytime I asked my husband where to go! He got the added thrill of hearing me shout ludicrously at him before hearing the dial tone when I hung up on him to call my friend back – three times.

*sigh* …the joys of motherhood. That’s why tonight I’m going solo. Yes, the highly sought-after “parent downtime”, or in my case, the MNO (mom’s night out). I’ll write a post about that later on… I’m sure it’ll be WILD! Anything that requires me looking after a bunch of drunken peers (hee hee hee – you guys know I love you) instead of my own child is sure to be trouble. But oh, what fun! *wink*

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My romance-novel life… October 19, 2007

Filed under: it's all about ME — L.Gonzalez @ 9:15 am
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Somehow I don’t know how I got here, but when I think about life as a romance novel, I quickly realize that in the beginning we could only be described as follows:

  • Victor Luis (my husband) – a devilishly handsome rake with a comedic disposition, a sly smile, and roaming eyes. He’s never still in hopes of evading responsibility.
  • Linnette (myself, of course) – an untamed beauty of pure innocence, lady-like in disposition although stubborn, persistant, and with a hellfire attitude. Her zest for life is unmatched.

I guess our roles changed because now we have been cast as something totally different:

  • Victor Luis (my husband) – a reformed rake who realizes his lust for women could never compare to his one true love, although let me tell ya’, that up until recently, he would re-test that theory
  • Linnette (myself, of course) – innocence gone and emotions worn. Although she still loves her handsome rake, she has subdued herself into a certain role of weary familiarity. Hellfire attitude still intact, but somewhat tamed.

Now… if only I could bring back that innocence, wouldn’t life just be grand? I guess I can add two bouncing baby boys into that mix. And probably a crazy mother in law and some over-bearing / well-meaning parents to boot.

 

You want to read MY book? October 16, 2007

I’ve been getting a lot of messages from people telling me I should write a book. Apparently I’m a literary genius – right up there in between the world encylopedia and the infamous little black book I’m sure…

Who wants to actually pay for something that comes out of my mouth? Can you imagine all the people I’m going to offend? Hm. Perhaps that will be the attracting factor.

My poor mother-in-law, otherwise known as ‘Mother-Theresa-of-drug-addicts-and-prostitutes’ would be the main target. What? I’m not being offensive… I’m only talking about her children. They, of course, would subsequently also be offended – and probably jailed.

I guess I’d have to take on a literary name of sorts. How exciting! What should my literary name be? They always have initials…

I can already see the skeptical reviews talking about how I’m just completely crazy – a ranting lunatic? *smirk*

“We fear for the lives of this self-absorbed mother’s children. A stay at home mom who is ultimately bored and looking for attention…” Ha ha ha! Well, I guess it’s true what they say – expect the worst but hope for the best. *wink*

 

Playdate #6: The Pumpkin Patch October 15, 2007

Filed under: today's playdate — L.Gonzalez @ 10:48 pm
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OMG – I have never been to a pumpkin patch before! (And for the record, I’ve never carved a pumpkin either, but we’re not talking about my childhood inadequacies right now). I’ve passed by dozens of patches – all perfectly laid out and colorful – but I’ve never actually ventured through one. I always see the cute photos other people take of their kids. What is it about fresh pumpkins, some grass, and a clear sky that can make any photo turn out absolutely beautiful?

So yea, this playdate was another one for ME – of course. You already know the drill… I was so excited to be doing this playdate that I think I would have gone without the kids if they had gotten sick. Let their dad deal with it all – he needs to learn how to take care of both of them all by himself like I do every single day.

So anyway, the playdate consisted of a storybook reading, some pumpkin’ pickin’ and decorating, plus TONS of photo ops. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. I don’t know who’s hilarious idea it was to create ‘the playdate’ scheme. There were at least 15-20 moms there and I’m sure I only talked to about 5 women total. The same women I’ve talked to at every other playdate. In actuality though, were there more than 5 women? Or was I so busy taking photos and watching my lil’ man run by that everything became a blur and my eyes started playing tricks on me?

When the storybook reading started, everyone sat down on the laid out blanket… everyone except for my lil’ man. Of course, my son has to be different from everyone else. Ok, let’s call it what it is – he’s one of the trouble-makers of the group. My friend’s son wandered off into the patch and of course – BIG surprise – my son quickly followed suit. So my friend and I are watching our little ‘delinquents-in-the-making’ heading off by themselves… HELLO! Remember us? Your moms? Why are we following you around? Shouldn’t you be liste- oh, what? Man! We missed the titilating, thought-provoking story… might as well take some pictures then…

Let me tell you that I feel like paparazzi at our playdates. The twisted part is that I’m actually the target. “Ok, turn this way – NO, WAIT! …ok, hey baby… VICTOR! hi! hello? …come back over here real quick, I want to get a nice pictu- VICTOR! NO! We don’t hit other people! …put the pumpki- VICTOR LUIS! I said NO! omg… hey girl, will you hold my camera real quick while I run down my kid and tackle him? Thanks, I owe you a tackle…”

And for the record, can I just point out real quick that when you ask a question and the other person keeps walking by you like if they didn’t hear you, people start thinking that you’re really losin’ it. Wait. Isn’t blogging the same thing?

OK, so moving on… we did the photos, the running around after the kids… now it’s time for the REAL fun to begin! We went into the microscopic-pumpkin patch (how cute! I feel like I’m easter egg-hunting) to select our pumpkins. My son had absolutely no interest in the whole activity besides throwing the pumpkin around. What a safety hazard! He could have hit another little kid. So I did what any other mother would do in a situation like this. I picked my own two pumpkins for my kids and then ran to get the stickers to decorate it. Gimme’ gimme’ gimme’! Where the hell is the sticker lady? OMG – did I just say ‘hell’ in a church pumpkin patch? Uh oh… where’s my kid?

I had such a blast running to all the possible photo op locations after that. I took pics of my kid, my friends kid, unknown kids, big kids, little kids, mommies… the best was when I had my picture taken like if I were a scarecrow. What fun!

We let the kids run around a bit more, trying to tire them out before getting back into our respective vehicles, and I struck up a conversation with one of the playdate mommies who had brought me a free Bebe Pod seat for my little one. WOO HOO! You mean I get to place him in that seat thingy and get a break from holding him? Amazing what modern-day inventions allow the chic mom to do huh? I mean, 50 years ago, who’d of thought that you could actually get something done throughout the day by using a lil’ plastic-seat? Hm. Why didn’t I think of that? I guess I can put away my duct tape now…

The kids all got a little treat bag filled with a mini bag of pretzels, a plastic kazoo-like thing, a mini bag of gummies, and a coloring page. My husband and I ended up eating the gummies – and the pretzels subsequently ended up all over my bedroom floor after I tried to get my son to eat them.

But back to the playdate. I promised one of the mommies I’d take my weight watchers information with me so she could use it and come to find out when I’m there talking to her that I forgot the instruction manual. Talk about being ditzy. And I had even written it down to remind myself too. Tsk tsk. I guess I have to plan my days with a little more ‘self-guidance’. Remember to eat breakfast. Brush teeth. Brush hair. Shower – wait, not in that order. Shower first then brush hair. Take weight watchers book to playdate. Remember to take 2 kids and do a head count to bring back 2 kids – personal resemblence to me IS important…

P.S. shame on you for not calling the cops after what I said in my last post… it’s been MUCH longer than 2 days. What kind of friend are you? Hmph. That’s right… walk away. I want you to go to your bedroom and think about this. The nerve…

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